Obi Wan Kenobi

" 'When I left you, I was but the learner, now I

am the master.'- Darth Vader
'Only a master of evil, Darth.' -Obi Wan Kenobi"

... OWNED

One of my dear heroes is the late great Jedi Master Obi Wan Kenobi. He was quite a guy, the model for self-sacrifice and a life devoted to virtue. I wish I could be him. I think I hate Luke more now as I write this. At least he could talk to Obi Wan in his head, Obi Wan was like his Jesus. Wouldn't it be awesome if Jesus dressed like Obi Wan? he already has superpowers.... sweet. I'm not trying to be sacreligious, in fact I think if Jesus has a list of favourite movies Star Wars is on it. And Alec Guiness who played Obi Wan in the original series was a convert to Catholicism. So Jesus already likes him.

Obi Wan Kenobi, what a guy, he had some amazing quotes. "That's no moon, it's a space station". "If you strike me down I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine". "My allegiance is to the Republic, to Democracy!". and finally his relativistic philosophizing: "only a Sith deals in absolutes".

I really hope that if I ever get my arm chopped off, or I'm hanging on the bottom of Cloud City, or I'm laying partially unconcious in a snowy planet (Yavin 5) that I could call out to Obi Wan and hear his voice in my head.

I think my life would be exponentially cooler if somehow he appeared to me and trained me in the Force. All these Catholics and their Apparations of Mary, Our Lady of Fatima? if you left it up to me I'd rather have 'Our Jedi Master of a galaxy far far away'. I still can't figure out if Darth Vader killed him, or if he just evaporated, or if he became one with the force.... and whether that counts as a mortal sin or not.

"Help me Obi Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope." - Princess Leia's Prayer to Obi Wan, patron saint of princesses leading rebellions against galactic empire's.

Ethos

I'm starting a new plan for trying to change my life, it's to reorder my ethos - my whole life ethic a bit. I'm using texts from three different religions in as much as their creeds help me to live as a better man. Don't worry I'm not converting to anything else, I'm fine being a Catholic Christian. Here they are:

1. Buddhism: I find that the ethics of Buddhism are actually quite easy to reconcile with Christianity, their way of life is difficult much like Christianity's, but I find that while I disagree with their theology and much of their philosophy, the actual pragmatic morality/religion part, I do agree with, here it is:

Buddhist Eightfold Noble Path
i. Right View
ii. Right Intention
iii. Right Speech
iv. Right Action
v. Right Livelihood
vi. Right Effort
vii. Right Mindfulness
viii. Right Concentration

Jedi: thank God only about 2 people even know this blog exists, because shaping your life after Star Wars isn't really 'cool' in any sense of the word. I read the jedi creed the other day and found it to be a very good mantra, it's basicallly just western style buddhism, but I like it. You can also Christianize this by just switching 'The Force' with logos which is Plato's concept of God which St. John uses in chapter 1 of his gospel to describe Christ as the eternal divine omnipresent deity.

There is no emotion, there is peace.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
There is no passion, there is serenity.
There is no chaos, there is harmony.
There is no death, there is the Force (or logos).

Christian
“We gladly suffer, because we know that suffering helps us to endure. And endurance builds character, which gives us a hope that will never disappoint us. All of this happens because God has given us the Holy Spirit, who fills our hearts with his love.” - St. Paul, in Romans 5:35 (CEV)

God blesses those people
who depend only on him.
They belong to the kingdom
of heaven!
God blesses those people
who grieve.
They will find comfort!
God blesses those people
who are humble.
The earth will belong
to them!
God blesses those people
who want to obey him more than to eat or drink.
They will be given
what they want!
God blesses those people
who are merciful.
They will be treated
with mercy!
God blesses those people
whose hearts are pure.
They will see him!
God blesses those people
who make peace.
They will be called
his children!
God blesses those people
who are treated badly
for doing right.
They belong to the kingdom
of heaven.” – Lord Jesus Christ, in the Sermon on the Mount (CEV)

Shadow and The Final Surrender

I've been thinking as I sit here in Latin, learning a language in the dumbest way I could imagine, I feel once again as I did last week and feel utterly tired of this way of life. If you want to teach me a language, teach me about the people, about how they would actually talk, and about their phrases. Teach us what their poets said...

In the movie homeward bound there is a point in the journey where the animals are on their way home to their family. They have crossed the rocky mountains and are crossing these train tracks about 10 minutes away from their house. Right then Shadow the oldest do falls into a pit (I have no idea why there are random pits near traintracks there just are). All the animals around him keep encouraging him and telling him he can make it, and he tries to climb out a few times.

But he can't make it out. He's stuck in the pit. That's when he tells them that he is simply too old and that he can't do it, he lays down to die. That's how I feel. Even if Michael J Fox were shaking me with all of his parkinsons power, I feel like I still would just lay down. There's nothing left. I'm at the stage right now where I've lost the will to everything. I've lost the will to do school, I've lost the will to work and get a new job. I just want to lay down and give up.

In the end it seems that Shadow has made the final surrender. Shadow doesn't know that in 10 minutes he is going to appear on the horizon and everyone will embrace him and he will be with his family. All he knows is that it is Game Over.

All he knows is that he is going to die, alone in a muddy pit grave amonst the wreckage and garbage of an old train yard. That's how I feel.

I know ultimately that Shadow pulls himself together and climbs out of the pit and sees Peter again. I know Psalm 40. But right now, today, I am shadow. I am lying in the pit, I have finally surrendered. May God help me.

Mediocrity

Mediocrity.

1. averageness: a quality that is adequate or acceptable, but not very good His
poetry seldom rises above the level of mediocrity.
2. mediocre person: somebody who lacks any special skill or flair.

Sometimes life feels like it's lived at this level. I've realized that there is an ongoing search for unconditional love. Usually in life if you fail people get over it once you succeed again and get back on your feet. It's easy for someone to forgive you so long as you improve again. But what if you just suck at life. What if all you ever do is fail? Will anyone accept you? I have come to think not.

Even Jesus says in John that 'he who has my commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves me' Even that is conditional. I think I'm just looking for a love that puts up with mediocrity.